One of the biggest issues in the world today is that women and girls do not know their own worth. Yes, we have rights and we are all women’s activists. But that does not give us worth. We still suffer from eating disorders. We allow people to mistreat us. We dress provocative to get attention from men, because we are incapable of living without it. We think men can use our bodies for sex, because we are told that is the source of worth and meaning. All the rights, equality, fashion, and sex can’t give us what we are trying to find: value.
If women (and men too!) were taught their worth, these problems I just listed would not be an issue. I heard a story recently of a girl who came from a rough family, whose boyfriend could not stop seeping around with other members of her family. She didn’t dump him and move on, instead she stayed and accepted the bad treatment. These kind of men act like girls are bags of flour, up for sale and cheap enough to toss out. The worst part is, these girls think they deserve to be treated like a bag of flour, passed around to the whims of a man. They think it is normal to have that kind of attention. I ache to tell that girl she has value, and that this kind of life is not what she was born to live!
Value is not a self-centered action. It is actually a healthy confidence in ourselves and in our standing before God. We were put on this planet as daughters of a king. That gives us worth. We are put here to be good, and kind, and do our best to leave the world a better place before we go to the next. That gives us worth. We are put here for a temple of the Holy Spirit so he can work through us. This gives us worth. We are not here to develop eating disorders or self-loathing, or to be used abusively like a toy, or to live a self-centered life. We are here to be a soft light, a force of power for Jesus.
God made women very powerful. We never talk about this power, but it does exist. Women are valuable when their focus is not on themselves, but serving others: this is power. We are valuable because we have dreams and goals and the ability to use them to serve our Savior: this is power. We are valuable because we have a special kind of boldness that changes the path of evil where men cannot stop it (study Abigail, Ester, Deborah, Rahab): this is power. We are valuable because we have an innate ability to nurture, heal, and grow other human beings: this is power. Nurturing is a “womanly superpower” that men do not possess in the potent amounts women have: this is power. A woman who understands her value, understands her power in the world. This is true female empowerment.
Lastly, God gave us beautiful, sexy bodies. Contrary to popular belief, they are not for men to use at their pleasure. They are for men to respect and care for as a great, priceless treasure–because you are valuable. When we dress our bodies in pretty clothes, when we put makeup on our faces, when we fix our hair, it should all be done with the purpose to earn the respect of others, not to attract their lust. You have the right to look lovely, and God gave you this “visual-body” because people trust us and listen to us when we look put-together and attractive. (Proverbs 31 says she clothed herself in tapestries, purple, and silk. All symbols of class, beauty, and royalty.)
People want to know why you look different from the rest of the frumpy, slutty word. People can see that your Jesus isn’t a woman-hating, legalistic bully when you dress in a feminine, classy, bold, and trendy way. And most importantly, people are more likely to listen when you talk about Jesus because you look and act like you have your life together. Always be classy; because that attracts the right kind of men. Only allow men into your life who value that kind of woman. They are the men who won’t abuse you spiritually, emotionally, or physically–they value you.
Ultimately, however, this is where your value must lie: in Jesus. Men cannot fulfill your “value tank” like Jesus can. He is the author of your worth. He lived a perfect life for you. He died a perfect, sanctifying death for you. For YOU! His righteousness was shifted over to you, and that is where your ultimate value lies.
Below are 6 reasons to help you know why you are valuable. If you are feeling worthless, keep reading…
- Ecclesiastes 3:11 “He has made everything beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.” This verse was the turning point in my eating disorder. I was fretting about “being the ugliest girl the car,” and suddenly that verse hit me out of nowhere. I realized that God made NO mistakes when he created me. My value was not in my thinness or beauty or feelings: my value is in making a difference for Jesus. That is my purpose. And with purpose comes value. Stop focusing on your inadequacies, insecurities, and worthlessness. Let God use you, and you will start to experience value. Your motto should be: “He has made everything beautiful.”
- This meme is everything. You have power to multiply goodness! That is valuable!
- Proverbs 31:31 “Give her of the fruit of her hands: and let her own works praise her in the gates.” A woman’s value is not in her sex conquests or her high fashion. Her value is in the “works of her hands.” If you are struggling to find value or know your own worth, read Proverbs 31 for ideas on self improvement and ways you can be people-centered instead of self-centered. At the end of the day, this woman had value to others because they needed her.
- When You Act Confident, It Shows Others You Value Yourself. When Ester went in before the king the Bible says, “Now when the turn of Ester…was come to go in unto the king, she required nothing but what Hegai the king’s chamberlain, the keeper of the women, appointed. And Ester obtained favor in the sight of all them that looked upon her.” I’m not sure what Ester was thinking before she was taken before the king. But her actions showed others that she had confidence in herself as she was. She could have asked for perfume, a sexy nightgown, pearls, or anything! But she knew that she, by herself, was enough. When we are at peace with ourselves through God, we express value.
- God Put Rules In The Bible To Protect Us. Have you ever wondered why God put so many rules in the Bible about women? Does it ever feel like he’s singling you out because you are weak and helpless? I used to think that. And then a pastor showed me that God made all those rules for women because he wanted to protect us. Why would God want to protect us? Because we are valuable to him. Doesn’t that give you shivers? He loves us that much!
- We Are A Picture Of His Bride. The Bible teaches that when a man and woman marry, the woman is a picture of Christ’s bride, or his church. Think about that for a full minute. God loved his church so much he lived a poor, hard life for her and then died the cruelest death imaginable so she could be in heaven forever with him. During his sacrifice, God turned his back on Jesus! Can you imagine that? Jesus loved his church so much he suffered God’s wrath, something we can not begin to comprehend. As a woman, you are a picture of the jewel, the prize, the bride Jesus died for. He values her so very much. And he decided that you, a woman, would be the picture of the bride he died for. He must value you very much to pick women as the symbol of his beloved church. You can rest in the fact that he thinks you are valuable.
I hope that this was comforting and encouraging to you guys! Remember, now that you understand your value, don’t stop there. Take action and live like you have worth. Say no to anything that does not respect you. Be a class act. Form boundaries and live by them. Be a light. Let your own works praise you.